Now that the Melbourne Cup is over, we are waiting with bated breath for the spectacle of Cup Week in Canterbury.
Can it really be a year ago that one of the silliest women to (dis)grace a race track showed the world her bum and boobs? That really was a comment on our times.
In 1913 a highly educated suffragette threw herself in front of the king's horse to draw attention to the cause of female suffrage.
Almost 100 years later, a drunk, half naked woman threw herself in front of a horse to draw attention - to herself!! All in the hope that someone would take her photo and her bum and boobs would have their 15 minutes of global fame (pun intended).
Every year we have the usual sad collection of boozy bimbos falling over and showing us their bums and skimpy knickers. (Thought, in the interests of equal opportunities, shouldn't it be bimbo for the male version and bimba for the female?) All too often the bums are of a size and shape that would be best kept hidden inside a large and preferably opaque pair of pants. And as for the boobs, quite often a very good sports bra or two wouldn't go amiss.
Every year we have the usual sad collection of boozy bimbos falling over and showing us their bums and skimpy knickers. (Thought, in the interests of equal opportunities, shouldn't it be bimbo for the male version and bimba for the female?) All too often the bums are of a size and shape that would be best kept hidden inside a large and preferably opaque pair of pants. And as for the boobs, quite often a very good sports bra or two wouldn't go amiss.
And what about that woman who made a total tit of herself at the Melbourne Cup? She was wearing the skimpiest and tightest of little blue dresses - it was so short, that when she bent over, the numbnuts who was filming her said 'oops I can see her lunch'. The eejit kept falling off her silly heels, then tried to punch anyone who laughed at her.
Having sobered up and found she had acquired the sort of celebrity that only the truly demented actually want, she now claims to have been drugged. Hmm, yes, that would be right - alcohol is a drug.
Do any of the boozers, bimbos, bimbas or bettors spare a thought for the horses? That's assuming they have sufficient brain cells to spare a thought for anything other than themselves.
I can already hear the huffing and puffing from the pro-racing lobby. So before anyone starts sending me death threats, I don't think it is wrong to race horses per se - I just hate the hype that is used to cover up some pretty shabby realities. What I am talking about is what happens to the bulk of the horses once they have outlived their usefulness and the rather ugly reality of what the extreme demands of racing do to them before they are surplus to requirements.
Do any of the boozers, bimbos, bimbas or bettors spare a thought for the horses? That's assuming they have sufficient brain cells to spare a thought for anything other than themselves.
I can already hear the huffing and puffing from the pro-racing lobby. So before anyone starts sending me death threats, I don't think it is wrong to race horses per se - I just hate the hype that is used to cover up some pretty shabby realities. What I am talking about is what happens to the bulk of the horses once they have outlived their usefulness and the rather ugly reality of what the extreme demands of racing do to them before they are surplus to requirements.
But we don't talk about that do we? Nor do we talk about the fact that the raison d'etre for the Sport of Kings is gambling.
It is not a sport, it is a medium for the placing of bets.
Yes I know, you can bet on any sort of sport but, in other sports the betting is incidental, it is not the reason most people watch a game of rugby or basketball. In horse racing, the bet is the thing.
How many people go to the races to watch the horses running purely for the spectacle? Precious few. Most of the plonkers who attend Cup Days go to see, be seen and get drunk. And let's face it, a horse race is pretty bloody boring unless you've got a bet on and even then it's over so fast it does make you wonder about the average race goer's attention span - and other things.
Of course there's a bit of thrill when a horse falls over, a jockey falls off or some woman with not very much between her ears decides to get her kit off and / or fall on the ground with her legs in the air.
Those like me will tell you the horse runs because it has a rider or driver that is making it run and because all the others horses are running ie, that the motive power is fear. Any intelligent and honest horse trainer knows and will admit that the instinctual drive to run away from a threat and to stay with the herd is what is being harnessed. And we force the horse to run further and faster than it ever would in nature. No natural predator chases its prey at 60+kms an hour over a kilometer or longer because the balance between predator and prey rests on the fulcrum of energy conservation.
Boring isn't it, all this talk about the animal's needs? How dare I intrude on people's fun with my 'boring, animal rights bollocks'. Yes, that's a quote from someone who loves horse racing - and claims to love horses.
How does the Editor of the Press justify having a whole page devoted to a female reporter being given a 'make over' for Cup Day. And page upon page devoted to race day fashion for men and women.
Does no-one else find it all utterly tacky and trashy? Am I alone in seeing it as just another excuse to dress up (why is female race kit identical to modern day wedding guest kit?) or wear as little as is legally permitted, stare and get stared at, have your photo taken, get bladdered, throw your rubbish on the ground, eat lots and puke?
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